Four years... All buttoned up

My son, Gavin, turned four last week. He's growing up so fast. It seems that everyday he is doing something to amaze me. Yesterday he buttoned his pants. That may not seem earth shattering to you but for a mommy who has to stop everything for every bathroom break to help undress and redress... IT'S HUGE! Especially since I've been trying to just get him to try buttoning his own pants for months.

I've begun to dress him only in elastic waistbands because he refuses to even try. But we may have turned a corner. Again I was amazed!

He's such a character. He has the best imagination. I remember playing a lot of imaginative play when I was a kid but I'm pretty sure he has outdone me. We go on all kinds of adventures without every leaving our home. Just today we rescued a dolphin and gave it a new home at the zoo. He learned a new word - "hoist - and used it all afternoon long. "Mom, come see. They are going to hoist Splash (we named the dolphin) up out of the water." "you hold this while I hoist the dolphin." I could go on but you get the point. Again just amazed!

The wants funny things too. We like to dress him in collared polo shirts. They generally have two buttons at the neck. Most people would just button one and leave the top button open. He often insists that they both be buttoned. It really is his only clothing quirk. Normally he couldn't care what outfit I select but if it is a collared polo shirt it must be all buttoned up.

Being Your Mommy

Dear Gavin and Trevor,

Being your mommy has brought me so much joy. Not just moments of happiness but true joy. The kind of stuff that keeps me going with a smile on my face despite overflowing diapers (Thank you Trevor) or midnight sheet changes (Thank you Gavin).

Being your mommy has taught me flexibility. A unexpected nap can rearrange an afternoon of well laid plans, but it doesn't have to defeat me. I've learned to be flexible. Regroup and a good dose of patience helps too.

Being your mommy has brought of a lot of fun. It is far easier to get you to do something if I make it A) sound like fun or B) more fun to do. For instance you both love helping me make the bed. We can throw the sheet in the air and let it fall on us for so long my arms ache. Gavin you think mopping with the steam mop is great fun because it hisses and makes smoke. It does make house work so much more fun for me too. I love having you as my helpers.

Being your mommy makes me grateful. I do feel blessed beyond what I deserve to be given the opportunity to love you and be loved by you. Having little hands hold mine and getting big hugs and hearing "I love you, Mommy" makes my heart swell. You give me so many reasons to smile and laugh everyday.

Being your mommy has shown me grace. It's difficult to understand grace until you are a parent.

I love being your mommy!

Tapestry

It's amazing how quickly you can go from a high in life to a low. One week ago we were celebrating my husband Karl's aunt's wedding. Such a beautiful love story of youthful flirting rekindled in their golden years. He was a best man in her older sister's wedding when she was a teenager. They flirted then and at another wedding. But went their separate ways. Each getting married and living life. Then some fiftyish years later... with just a picture and a name he tracked her down after his first wife passed away. What a sweet wedding, definitely a high in all our lives to see these two become one.

Yet now just a week later a low for that same sweet couple. They were headed out to drive across country and had a horrible car accident. Still don't know the full details. But his aunt is most likely paralyzed and his new uncle may loose his arm. Thankfully both are still alive. But how quickly their lives have changed. On the brink of their married life together only to be stopped in their tracks. Regardless of their final health status they have weeks and months of rehab ahead of them.

During our hospital visit today I tried to give Karl's aunt something beautiful to think about as she lay there. She loves flowers and the first thing I saw when we walked into her ICU room was she had a window with a view of a courtyard filled with flowers. I told her about her window view. I got a smile and a slight hand squeeze. All I hope is that I gave her something to be thankful for when sadness and depression start to set in. Later when we were saying goodbye I told one of the nurses a little bit of their story. Karl's aunt smiled again as I told of their recent first date fifty years delayed.

Having such a high followed by such a devastating low, I can't help but wonder why? We may never understand why God allowed this to happen but I pray we can find little rays of joy despite this situation. I'm already hopeful for the next high in this couple's life. They both are such happy, joyful people. I pray the highs out number the lows and they find many reasons to be thankful in the days, weeks and months ahead.

Years ago these high and lows were described in a church sermon as necessary for weaving the tapestry of our life. You need the dark, shadows to offset the really bright parts. I hope this dark shadow in all our lives only makes the other good parts about to come shine that much brighter.

Three is the new black

Growing up my mom would say, "only make two." She was referring to children. But I have always wanted three kids. Maybe it's my rebellious, stubborn side.

When we found out our first child was going to be a boy, I said on the drive home that I hoped our second was going to also be a boy so I could justify a third. "Going for the girl!"

Now that we do indeed have our second boy I plan to have a third child. I find myself watching families with three kids. It looks fun and also a little chaotic.

Then recently I overheard another mom ask two moms, "do you BOTH have three?" and I wondered has it become cool to have big families? Is three the new black?

Imagination to spare

Today we went to the aquarium in Long Beach, California. Gavin loved it. The scuba divers were by far the highlight for him. And I thought they might be since one of his favorite bath toys is a diver. He was a little unsure of them at first.

The first (and one of the largest) tanks had three divers in it. The diver - shown in the picture - was motioning kids to come up to the window and give him a high five. As you can see Gavin was a little hesitate. Yet he was thrilled every time we came across another tank with a diver in it. We had to go back to several tanks because they had divers. I think he enjoyed the fish too (especially the sharks).

So it really shouldn't have surprised me that he shared about his experience at the aquarium with our friends kids tonight. He told them all about the divers. The real surprise was that he convinced other kids to "play diver." Which first means you have to put gear on and get into a tank. Then it entails going up and down and pretending to do things like clean tanks, fix things, and feed fish. He also spent a lot of time waving "through the glass." He was so convincing as a diver he had several other kids want to pretend to be divers too.

I love his big imagination. I'm so grateful that we live in a place that has so much for children to do and experience. I especially enjoy seeing those experiences show up later in his play.

Here comes trouble

This afternoon Trevor surprised me by once again showing how quickly he's developing. We are so in trouble.

I was packing the diaper bag and had set him in his crib seated with a toy. As I refilled the diaper pouch I see him reach over to the railing. I've never seen him do that before and probably wouldn't have thought anything about it. Yet I had just looked through my baby book with my mom and saw a picture of me at 6 and a half month pulling up to standing in my crib. So I stopped what I was doing and grabbed my phone just in case I needed to capture this moment. Well he pulled himself from his seated position onto his knees. And proudly beamed up at me. His face was a little surprised but also saying, "look what I just did." He fell over when he tried to move. Yet was able to do it again several minutes later when I reseated him.

And yes I was able to capture the moment with my camera phone.

Worry Wart

As a mother it's my job to worry. Right? I worry about things I have no control over. That drives me crazy!

When you hang out with families that have kids the exact same age as your kids, it's so hard not to compare. This one is doing that but MINE is already doing this. Then I think to myself but should my kid be doing that other thing too?! And the downward spiral of my worrying thoughts begins...

I sometimes have to take a deep breath and look at my kids. They are healthy, happy and fairly well-behaved. So what if my three year old has a really hard time sharing and cries when we have play dates at our house. He's three!

I need to stop worrying. I need to stop expecting him to be "mature" and allow him to feel disappointment and frustration. Which gets to the root of the issue really. I worry about (and for) my kids, but it's because I want to protect them. Is this why all mom's worry!? Not it's not just from physical pain, but emotional and spiritual issues as well. Our protective instincts come out as we want the best for our kids.

In reality I need to take those times when I start down the worry-thought-path and turn my thoughts into times of prayer for my children. Maybe this worry wart mom will become a prayer warrior mom for her kids. Maybe...

Dear God,
Please help me to redirect my worries and fears for my boys into times I lift them in prayer. I am so grateful you have chosen us to be their mommy and daddy. Please guide us in when to step in and when to let them figure it out on their own. Please give us wisdom as we are faced with new and challenging situations, which seems to be daily. Give us the right words to steer their hearts. Help us each day to be good parents. And please remind us, especially me, to turn my worry times to prayer times.
Amen.

Coming up next!

Gavin loves to put on a show. It must be the mix of my genes and the fact he was the only grandchild on both sides of our family until his brother was born.

Shows started when he would seek out a "stage" area. This could be anything from a fireplace hearth to a well positioned rug or his Opa and Oma's coffee table. They initially were non sensical. Just random words dramatically spoken with hand gestures. Before he could even really talk.

Today his show became interactive. He had Opa, Uncle Paul and I stand up, jiggle our feet, jump and spin really fast. Then we were allowed to be seated.

He incorporates a lot of what he has seen in cartoons or movies. Or new songs. They are like streams of consciousness. We love to witness them. It really is a treat for anyone who has had the pleasure of attending one. Our friends who have older kids love to see Gavin take the position of putting on a show. Their faces light up with anticipation. Because honestly you don't know where the show will take you but you do know you'll enjoy every moment of the performance.

He is risen! The tomb is empty.

We recently attended the viewing and funeral of my grandfather. At first I wasn't going to expose my children to this thing "death." I was worried about how they would behave and also how Gavin would handle it. Yet we read the children's bible and it plainly says Jesus died on a cross for our sins.

Ultimately my mom persuaded me that I should bring them because our family liked seeing them and it would give people something to be happy about. We talked to Gavin a lot about what would happen before each day's events. It wasn't easy but I'm glad we did include our children.

At first I didn't know how to talk to him about death. I did an internet search and read a few opinions. (Don't say it was sickness or they may get worried when they or you get sick. Don't say death is sleeping, or they may become fearful of sleeping. Best to talk about the body wearing out and compare it to an old shoe wearing out.)

Well as a preschooler Gavin grows out of shoes before they wear out, so I went with a broken toy in my explanation. The first conversation about my grandpa's passing happened when I was crying two days after my grandpa died. Gavin asked why I was sad. We had a brief explanation of death and that great-grandpa had died. He seemed to "get it."

Before the viewing, I told him that his great-grandpa was now at peace but we were going to see his body. So glad I used those words. He repeated that phrase to anyone who was crying after they walked up to the open casket. "he's at peace."

Now it's been about a week since the funeral, and it is Easter. Again we are talking about a man dying only this time on a cross, but this story is different. Jesus rose again on the third day. Gavin seems to be getting the message of the cross because he asked my husband, Karl, if great-grandpa was going to rise from the dead. Which made me think Christ's resurrection truly was miraculous! To love someone and lose them to death's final grip only to find their tomb empty and hear the good news that He is risen!

Six months old... So fast with the second!

I can hardly believe that my second baby is half a year old! Trevor hit his six month milestone on Good Friday. He had a perfect check-up. Measuring in at 27.5 inches (87%) and 19 lbs. 12.5 oz. (84%). He's a big boy!

And he'll keep it up too, because he loves solid food. We started solids earlier with Trevor than we did with Gavin. Mainly because Trevor had his neck on a swivel with every bite I took. His interest level in what I am eating is high. So at 4 and 1/2 months we feed him some puréed pears. And we were off... Avocados, green peas, apples, apricots, sweet potatoes, squash - just to name a few of the firsts foods.

He also loves to smile. As a super happy baby who lights up when you engage him, let's just say, he's a charmer. I love it.

Gavin is one sure way to make his brother smile. It is so much fun to watch them interact. Trevor beams at his big brother. And watches his every move. Truly one of his favorite people. We can't wait to watch their relationship develop.

I'm trying to be aware of not creating sibling rivalry. We don't want to pit them as competitors against each other. But as encouragers to each other. For instance, if we want Gavin to try a new food, we cheer him on without making a comparison to his brother. We don't say, "Trevor ate all of his peas, won't you take a bite too?"

Ok well I'm off to fill Easter baskets for TWO adorable boys!

Trevor ... Our new baby

In October 2011 Trevor joined our family. We are loving being a "party of 4!" and seriously can't imagine life without him. Which is weird because before he got here I was having a hard time imaging life with more kids than just Gavin. I'm so thankful that I knew we would have "more than one." Because honestly Gavin was getting easier and I half considered being done. But that wasn't our path and we are thrilled... All of us. Gavin has adjusted better than I could have imagined. He's a terrific big brother.

So I'm going to try blogging more often... It seems like life has sped up now that we have two kids. I don't want to look back and not remember the little bright spots that make my life magical. I love being a mom and I want/need to have an outlet to commemorate the really great things that just happen everyday so when a "bad" day hits (and they do) I can look back at all the good ones.

Like a little duck . .

We've enjoyed swim "lessons" at the Rose Bowl, and here's a few pictures to prove it:

Tummy time in the water!

This child loves to splash! Do you see how wet his face is?



Ready. Set. Go!

Jumping in from the side of the pool.

Swimming with dad.

What fun!

Mother's Day

For some reason Mother's Day made me feel very emotional this year. I guess having a baby of your own and realizing you're a "mom" now may make one who is prone to being emotional, a little emotional on the said event of celebrating motherhood.

But it was a good day, all in all. And I'm delighted to be a mom to little Gavin.

Who is . . .

happy.
biting.
pulling up to standing.
still not crawling.
getting his 7th tooth.
bellying laughing.
ticklish.
taking swim lessons.
almost 9 months old.

I can hardly believe it's gone so fast! What a ride, what a great, great ride!

Best of Friends

I'm truly lucky in life to have friends like Melissa. Check out her newest blog entry. Thanks Melissa for brightening my life. Your friendship has meant so much to me.

elf in training . . .

We had a wonderful first Christmas with Gavin. Here are some of my favorite shots from the day. . .

Gavin, look what Santa left us under the tree. Is that for me?

opening gifts with daddy . . .

Grandpa Dial, what did you get from Santa?

Gavin's own big boy chair - thanks Grandma Dial!

we enjoyed a yummy prime rib dinner.

Great Grandparents - so sweet

nothing better than snuggling with a sleeping baby Gavin. This is what bliss looks like . . .

But next year I've decided that we're not leaving our house . . . you'll have to come to us on Christmas day. :-)

Yesterday morning started off okay . . . up at 5:45am feed Gavin and get him dressed. It was downhill after that . . . While waiting for Karl to finish getting himself ready I was playing with Gavin and his adorable new snow boots. I stood him up and saw it - a little dark spot creeping out of the back of his pants and up his back. Now we are seriously moments away from putting him in his car seat.

"Karl he's pooped his pants and it's leaking up his back - I'm going to change his diaper and outfit.," I shouted out. This should have been a fairly quick exercise, but once I opened him up it wasn't just leaking up the back. It was down the leg and on the socks. Up the back all the way to his shoulders. Gavin just smiling through it all. Karl peeps his head in to see what's taking so long at this point. He surveys the scene and says he can get into work late, because he knows I'm thinking, "This kid needs a bath."

So I strip him down and give him a quick bath - no shampooing the hair, just soap him up and hose him down.

Back on the changing tabble just as I'm pulling out the new diaper . . . he turns into a fountain. Peeing eveywhere! I gasp - which sends Karl running to the room. He helps me clean it up and I finish putting on the new diaper.

I get the new pants on and ask Karl to put the jacket on while I search for the baby comb (it's never where I left it). We're so close to getting them out the door and then just as Karl goes to put Gavin's second arm in . . . he spits up on Karl. Karl who is fully dressed and read to walk out the door now has baby spit-up running down his arm and pooling in the elbow of his dress shirt. I help mop it up but Karl decides that spit-up is not the odor he wants to share with his co-workers and needs to now change his shirt.

So finally with both boys in their second outfits of the day and it's not even 7:00am - I send them out the door (SIGH). Being a mom is harder some days than others. :-)

busy bees

Since it has been a little while since my last posting (yes we are still surviving) thought I'd update what's been happening since I returned to work:

Gavin was dedicated on November 23 at Covina First Baptist Church. He did perfectly as he made the congregation laugh by making noise which the pastor took as an Amen! and he spit-up both while on stage. :-) Lots of support and love from friends and family. Also we were blessed by our good friends James and Kim who dedicated their daughter, Sophia, that same morning. These two kids will have the joy of growing up together and this was a perfect pairing for us. We just love them!

Also we had Thanksgiving, lots of yummy food, but I stepped away from the table to nurse Gavin mid-dinner and by the time I got back the table had been cleared. So here's my bone to pick with my family . . . we spend weeks and days preparing for holiday dinners, hours cooking and selecting the right dishes, so why can't we stop for a few minutes and enjoy the meal?!? Just because you have finished your turkey do we really have to start the dishes before it is even settled in your stomach? I want to stay at the table and enjoy the company of family. Have a conversation about what's been going on in our lives, the world, etc. For the life of me I wonder if this is just my family or does this happen in other houses too? So at my house, my tradition will be that dishes stay on the table long past the meal being over and we've enjoyed and relished in the holiday. Now I'm wishing I was having Christmas at my house. Next year for sure! :-)

Other than that we've been busy with work, taking care of household chores (which is much harder now that I'm not at home during the day and we want to spend time playing with Gavin on the weekends), partying with the normal holiday festivities (5 parties in one weekend - sigh!) and watching Gavin grow and chance before our eyes. He has recently found his feet - I love it when he grabs his toes!

We also had our first cold. Both Gavin and I got sick, but we're starting to feel better. Yet I have to say I hate using the nasal aspirator. He just screams and cries after I do it. The first time I did it he cried so hard I ended up crying too! (They never tell you when you become a parent that it really does hurt you more than it hurts them. I thought my mom was lying when she told us that.)

I'll try to be better about finding time to blog more often. I miss it!

Monday Is Coming . . .

I've long dreaded this coming Monday, it's the day I'll return to work and leave my son for longer than I've ever been away. He'll be bottle fed for multiple feedings in a row and be comforted by another's loving arms. [Sigh] I write this through tears.

I'm not sure how I'll hold it together to make it through a day's work. Good thing my boss is understanding. I called my office today to check in and remind them that yes I really am coming back. I cried when I got off the phone. Not because I don't like working, actually I love working. And I'm good at what I do, but I am a better mom. Actually I enjoy being a mom way more than I thought I would. That may sound crazy to other moms, but I really thought the baby phase would be so boring and to be honest it is a little dull at times. Yet I love him so much. I know my baby so well. Will anyone else be able to calm him down like I can? Will they make him laugh like I can or tell when he needs a nap?

He's starting to try new things and he's just really discovered his hands. Staring at them constantly and grabbing things. Plus he wants to sit and roll over. I'll miss those milestones and I hate that.

It's killing me that I'll be away for so many hours during the week. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky though . . . he'll be with grandparents who love him. Adore him and will spoil him with love, attention and toys. I'm so grateful for our families and the support they provide. I don't know what we'd do without them.

So keep me in your thoughts and prayers this Monday. Lord knows I'll need them and probably a box of tissues next to my computer for every time a co-worker asks "How's the baby?"

PS On a lighter note . . . Here's the new 'do!

Change is in the air . . .

This weekend we were busy, very busy working on the house. My uncle Chuck helped Karl start tiling the kitchen backsplash. I hope it's finished before Christmas! Check out the progress so far.

This is how it looks after two days. Now there is just like a trillion custom cuts that have to happen and then maybe I'll get my stove back in its proper place.

To get any serious home improvement project started right you must include your infant child . . . so Karl dressed Gavin in work clothes, but all the lazy kid did really did was hangout with the ladies. That's okay because he's so cute!

My aunt Sandy (my mom's sister) and cousin Jaci came and played with Gavin, but the real baby lover was Gwen, Chuck's Mom. (Although she may not be directly related, she's like a Grandmother to me in many ways.) I think Gwen has her mother's touch, Gavin calmed right down just being in her arms!

New tile on the walls isn't the only new look around our house. I've followed in the foot steps of many moms before me and today I cut off my long hair after having a baby. I didn't think I'd do it, but there is a reason so many of us do. For me, I was just sick of the pony tail. Everyday, the same old look. Pulled back and boring! Now I just hope to find the extra time to actually do the new 'do. No pictures yet, but maybe tomorrow. Karl has to get home first and see what I've done to myself. Hope he likes it! :-)

Narssicsm

Check out Jeana's pictures from our photo session on Friday . . .

http://myjourneyintophotography.blogspot.com/

Thanks Jeana!