I've long dreaded this coming Monday, it's the day I'll return to work and leave my son for longer than I've ever been away. He'll be bottle fed for multiple feedings in a row and be comforted by another's loving arms. [Sigh] I write this through tears. I'm not sure how I'll hold it together to make it through a day's work. Good thing my boss is understanding. I called my office today to check in and remind them that yes I really am coming back. I cried when I got off the phone. Not because I don't like working, actually I love working. And I'm good at what I do, but I am a better mom. Actually I enjoy being a mom way more than I thought I would. That may sound crazy to other moms, but I really thought the baby phase would be so boring and to be honest it is a little dull at times. Yet I love him so much. I know my baby so well. Will anyone else be able to calm him down like I can? Will they make him laugh like I can or tell when he needs a nap?
He's starting to try new things and he's just really discovered his hands. Staring at them constantly and grabbing things. Plus he wants to sit and roll over. I'll miss those milestones and I hate that.
It's killing me that I'll be away for so many hours during the week. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky though . . . he'll be with grandparents who love him. Adore him and will spoil him with love, attention and toys. I'm so grateful for our families and the support they provide. I don't know what we'd do without them.
So keep me in your thoughts and prayers this Monday. Lord knows I'll need them and probably a box of tissues next to my computer for every time a co-worker asks "How's the baby?"
PS On a lighter note . . . Here's the new 'do!
