Sunday, May 13, 2012

Being Your Mommy

Dear Gavin and Trevor,

Being your mommy has brought me so much joy. Not just moments of happiness but true joy. The kind of stuff that keeps me going with a smile on my face despite overflowing diapers (Thank you Trevor) or midnight sheet changes (Thank you Gavin).

Being your mommy has taught me flexibility. A unexpected nap can rearrange an afternoon of well laid plans, but it doesn't have to defeat me. I've learned to be flexible. Regroup and a good dose of patience helps too.

Being your mommy has brought of a lot of fun. It is far easier to get you to do something if I make it A) sound like fun or B) more fun to do. For instance you both love helping me make the bed. We can throw the sheet in the air and let it fall on us for so long my arms ache. Gavin you think mopping with the steam mop is great fun because it hisses and makes smoke. It does make house work so much more fun for me too. I love having you as my helpers.

Being your mommy makes me grateful. I do feel blessed beyond what I deserve to be given the opportunity to love you and be loved by you. Having little hands hold mine and getting big hugs and hearing "I love you, Mommy" makes my heart swell. You give me so many reasons to smile and laugh everyday.

Being your mommy has shown me grace. It's difficult to understand grace until you are a parent.

I love being your mommy!

Saturday, May 5, 2012


It's amazing how quickly you can go from a high in life to a low. One week ago we were celebrating my husband Karl's aunt's wedding. Such a beautiful love story of youthful flirting rekindled in their golden years. He was a best man in her older sister's wedding when she was a teenager. They flirted then and at another wedding. But went their separate ways. Each getting married and living life. Then some fiftyish years later... with just a picture and a name he tracked her down after his first wife passed away. What a sweet wedding, definitely a high in all our lives to see these two become one.

Yet now just a week later a low for that same sweet couple. They were headed out to drive across country and had a horrible car accident. Still don't know the full details. But his aunt is most likely paralyzed and his new uncle may loose his arm. Thankfully both are still alive. But how quickly their lives have changed. On the brink of their married life together only to be stopped in their tracks. Regardless of their final health status they have weeks and months of rehab ahead of them.

During our hospital visit today I tried to give Karl's aunt something beautiful to think about as she lay there. She loves flowers and the first thing I saw when we walked into her ICU room was she had a window with a view of a courtyard filled with flowers. I told her about her window view. I got a smile and a slight hand squeeze. All I hope is that I gave her something to be thankful for when sadness and depression start to set in. Later when we were saying goodbye I told one of the nurses a little bit of their story. Karl's aunt smiled again as I told of their recent first date fifty years delayed.

Having such a high followed by such a devastating low, I can't help but wonder why? We may never understand why God allowed this to happen but I pray we can find little rays of joy despite this situation. I'm already hopeful for the next high in this couple's life. They both are such happy, joyful people. I pray the highs out number the lows and they find many reasons to be thankful in the days, weeks and months ahead.

Years ago these high and lows were described in a church sermon as necessary for weaving the tapestry of our life. You need the dark, shadows to offset the really bright parts. I hope this dark shadow in all our lives only makes the other good parts about to come shine that much brighter.